The Wonder Of It All

Today, the Logeman family will travel to the University of Minnesota to drop off my little brother at college. He will be starting the most incredible time of his life thus far, and I am so excited to see how he can use his talents and gifts to change the world.

Unfortunately, because Northwestern starts so late, I am really jealous of my brother. I am left to anticipate starting school for a whole month. I am coming up to my senior year of college, and I am eagerly planning everything that I want to accomplish this year.

And yet, two questions continue to rise to my head:
1) How on earth did I get this far?
2) Where on earth am I going?

Variants of these questions continue to circulate in my head, taunting me, intimidating me, but most importantly, encouraging me.

To be honest, I don’t know exactly how I got here. If you would have told me before my senior year of high school that I would be graduating with a Biology degree from one of the top schools in the country, I probably would have laughed in your face. I was a decently smart kid who had no idea what to do with my life, and I had no clue what my potential could be. Thanks be to God that I had mentors, opportunities, and, frankly, a lot of luck.

I shouldn’t be graduating from Northwestern in ten months. There have been so many times where I have said I couldn’t do it. There have been so many times that I have declared myself not smart enough, not talented enough, not balanced enough.

Not enough, not enough, not enough.

And the wonder of it all is I’m still standing.

See it wasn’t just me. Yeah, I work hard, but without the people around me to inspire me, uplift me, and love me, I would have fallen a long time ago. Without a God to love me, I wouldn’t have been able to stand in the first place.

And the wonder of it all is I’m still standing.

And yet, the moment I graduate from Northwestern, I have no clue what is going to happen. I have decided to take a gap year while I am applying to medical schools. First, I have no clue if I will get into a medical school. I hope for it, I pray for it, but only one person knows, and He doesn’t like to give direct answers.

I wonder where I will be next year.

As soon as I graduate, I will plunge into a world of uncertainty. I know that at school, there will always be class, friends, and opportunities available. And all of that goes out the window as soon I was graduate.

And you know what, as terrifying as that is, I am ok with that.

Because the truth is, I have a chance to pursue all of my dreams. I have an opportunity to apply to and hopefully be accepted to medical school. I have had an opportunity to meet incredible people who are literally going to change the world.
I am scared to leave, and someone is going to have to drag me away from Northwestern kicking and screaming. But I am so excited to see where my path takes me, for better or worse.

And I wonder where I’ll be next year.

I have had this song called, “The Wonder of it All” by a band called Monday Morning on repeat these past few weeks. I am sure I will listen to it hundreds more times before the end of the year.

Some tidbits that have been really encouraging to me recently:
“all the future seems unclear
never moving never near
but You hold me as I scream
something out there waits for me”

“should I question all these things
what makes me so deserving
of something that I’ve thrown away
coming back for me today
when I’m still nothing next to You”

and of course,

“and the wonder of it all is I’m still standing
and the wonder of it all is we’re still standing
never planned it
and I wonder where I’ll be next year”

So I will wonder where I will be next year. It is a wonder that I am still standing.

But I am standing.


P.s. Here is a link to the song. Maybe you can find as much encouragement through it as I have:


About Spice Up Your Life With Some Ginger

A ginger just trying to figure out life.
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