Sometimes, heartbreaks can happen for the stupidest reasons. Now before I go any further, I know what you are saying. “But Adam, cheesy Valentine’s Day posts should have been posted on Friday!”
But I don’t think this is a cheesy valentine’s day post.
I think this is a post that I need to hear way more than I ever admit.
Heartbreaks can happen for the stupidest reasons. A harsh breakup, unreturned affection, or even the crushing defeat of Valentine’s day plans gone wrong can cause our hearts to sink further than we ever expected. In my example, I just found out that I might not get to see my long distance girlfriend over our spring breaks like we expected.
Don’t let me sugarcoat it, these things suck. Particularly when something goes wrong about something or someone that you love, it can be a heavy blow. It can change your whole outlook on a day, and it can bring tears to your eyes faster than you would like to admit.
Face it, love can hurt sometimes. We are so easily damaged when we choose to be vulnerable, but it is from this vulnerability that love comes from in the first place.
Heartbreak is inevitable.
I am blessed to be part of a relationship that brings me love every day of my life. I know that many others are not as lucky as I am. However, I think one of the largest things I have learned in my relationship is that having someone that you love does not mean that heartbreaks go away.
When you love something so much that your heart beats faster with every thought, even the moments when your heart doesn’t beat quite as fast can seem like your heart is breaking itself from its casings.
In choosing to love, we are ultimately choosing heartbreak as well. It is what we do as humans: our hearts hurt sometimes.In choosing to ignore them besides the moments after a breakup or a missed opportunity negates the power that they have over our lives.
These heartbreaks can extend so much further as well. To different degrees, I think we can feel heartbreaks after receiving a grade much lower than expected, or perhaps being reprimanded by someone at work. Simply put, if we devote our time and energy to something that we love, it it doesn’t go quite right, we can feel that same heartbreak.
And that is ok.
See, I am human. I am going to get my hopes up over things. I am going to be excited for things that haven’t happened yet. I am going to create fantasies in my head that detail the picture perfect moments that I choose for myself. And if those things fall short of what I am expecting, I am going to hurt.
Is it maybe because we expect too much out of love? How can a human love possibly live up to what we design it to be?
But maybe heartbreak is part of who we are. Maybe heartbreak is a way of reminding us that we have no idea what love truly entails.
I see how I react to disappointing things in my life, and I know how my heart feels. But do I truly understand how the complexities of what I love impact my own life?
Or perhaps is love from something that I can’t even fathom.
1 John 4:7 says, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.” If love comes from God, why on earth am I trying to understand the intricacies of it? Why do I analyze myself every time my heart feels down?
See in God’s love, I see an example of how no matter what, love is the reaction. I see how God sent his son to die for me; the greatest act of love of all time. I see how love transforms people. I see how love captivates and teaches. I see how love is an incredible mystery.
But most of all, I see love as an eternal blessing, given by the God who conceived you and I before we were born.
So yeah, I get heartbreaking moments, but do I truly understand what that means? Or am I perhaps reacting to disappointment because I didn’t know what love truly meant in the first place. If I truly want to love, I have to turn to God first, because that is the only source of love that won’t heartbreak me. But just like in a relationship, if we are going to find love, we need to start by being vulnerable. God’s love differs. We see that our vulnerabilities are rooted in His hand, and He will hold on to them with everything he has That is the love that I need to invest myself in.
The love of everything and everyone else in life is folly compared to the love that God has for me and you.
Ultimately, God can’t break our hearts because He created the love that causes heartbreak. He reaction will always be love, and we can always find relief in Him.
If you are going through heartbreak, disappointment, or simply misunderstandings, just remember that God is the one who created love in the first place.
We are just lucky enough to get a taste of it.