Sometimes, I get really anxious.
Sometimes, it makes no sense at all.
Sometimes, I am terrified of my future, and sometimes, I am terrified of the next bend in the river.
I think so often in life, we try to paint this perfect face about what we are going through. We take out our smiles, and we just grin at those around us. But inside, that makes even more afraid.
I think that fear can captivate us. The simple feeling of having no control, being powerless, seemingly adrift in the chaos of the world around us can be a feeling that is all too familiar to us.
It is all too easy to look around and guess on the happiness levels of those people around us.
It is much harder to gauge their fear levels.
It is all too easy to be afraid.
Again, I fully admit to feeling afraid. I am afraid of letting down those around me. I am afraid of not being able to do it all. I am afraid of saying I didn’t do enough, or that I did too much. I am afraid of not being able to look myself in the eye at some point in my life.
I am afraid of being afraid.
Sometimes, that fear wins. Sometimes, I can’t be strong enough. Sometimes, my knees collapse onto the floor. Sometimes, sometimes, my fears take me down.
But that doesn’t mean that they win. Oh no. Not even close.
I think fear is a natural thing, it can drive us, it can shape us, it can create us… but only if we are strong enough to take them on.
I am not strong enough to take them on by myself. I never have been, and I never will be.
But I know someone who is.
Isaiah 41:13 says, For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
What a beautiful picture. I just reread this verse, and was swept up with a picture of God holding his hand out to me as I dangle over a cliff. To reach for his hand means letting go.
And that is scary.
But when I do that, I don’t have to worry about my impending fall. I don’t have to worry about the coursing river rushing beneath my feet. I don’t have to worry about the moment where I will close my eyes and fall off of the cliff for good.
His hand is there.
He is there.
We are there.
Fear can try to dominate our lives. Fear can be how we try to motivate ourselves. Fear can be how we try to strengthen ourselves.
But fear cannot win. Fear will not win.
I won’t let fear win.
p.s. If you are feeling afraid, anxious, worried, fearful, please reach out to someone. Often times, I find Jesus reaching his hand to me through these people. I know it is hard, I know it can be embarrassing. But I am pretty sure they have something that terrifies them as well. That they are looking for a person to reach to as well.